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How To Marry A Wealthy Guy

(or Girl... Or at least Make Sure they're a Good Money Manager!! ha,ha!)

Okay, so I was watching Dr. Phil a while ago, and he had a guest on who had written How To Snare A Millionaire. Hmmmmm... I'm sure that's a great read, but her info was mostly directed at one particular type of Millionaire Male -- and it was primarily focussed on Dating, not Marrying. Two completely separate things for wealthy guys -- okay, most guys! :)

Wealth can be measured by many things -- a Wealth of Possibilities is sometimes even more fun in a mate than finding everything ready-made. Then you can then grow in your Wealth, together. Doesn't that sound like fun? Plus, Rich to one person might mean being able to pay all the bills without worrying, and to the next person 'Rich' might mean having the biggest Yacht in the Habour. Make up your own mind about 'How much does it take to be Wealthy', and you'll be well on your way to your own Personal Wealth and Happiness!<Search Photos of Singles>

Oh, and here's a little epiphany I had a couple of weeks ago -- you know what you really want to find in a Mate? Someone with a Generous Spirit. It occurred to me that a person with a truly generous spirit will be open to sharing everything about their lives, including their money. Money is just a good indicator of how they often handle the rest of their lives. Tight with the Money, Tight with the Love. This has very little to do with how much money anyone has, just the willingness to share, so watch out for that, and be lovely and open, yourself. You'll find a Great Match in no time! <""Find singles in your area with Match.com"">

Here are some little tips so you can at least spot a wealthy (or soon-to-be-wealthy) guy:

1. If that BMW he's driving is most likely leased, you may be looking at a guy who owes a whole lot of money to someone else... It's pretty easy to LOOK rich. You might want to check out the guy in the Truck or not-so-new-but-still-nice vehicle -- chances are high that he's the one who's been saving his bucks, and has the ability to make a whole lot more of them!

2. High Maintenance Women are great for High Maintenance Men -- are you willing to be a Barbie forever? Think you ever want to just kick back and enjoy your life? Probably not with this guy -- he'll demand perfection -- his mother will, too, and yes, she'll definitely come with the package. (Hey, I don't know why these guys are like that -- it's just a part of the special -- and sometimes anal retentive -- package that you can often get with the Rich and Famous!)

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3. Wealthy Men are really looking for down-to-earth women who won't blow their budget. (Go ahead... make all your jokes here...I'll wait! ...) They are open to friendly women who would make easy companions -- fun to talk with who can get down to business when they need to -- which is fairly often -- that's how wealth is made and kept! He wants to be married for life, since he is seriously trying to avoid losing half of his wealth-to-date in a Divorce.

Now, here's a difference between a Rich Man and a Wealthy Man...a Rich Man is a fellow with a tremendous amount of money, and often he is looking for a 'Trophy Wife'. A Wealthy Man is someone who has worked really hard for his money and who wants to not only keep it, he wants to make sure it grows. The Wealthy Man is looking for a Partner to work along side him in this growth business, and help him keep his life running smoothly, then the whole family is much happier.

Remember that the Type of Work that a Wealthy Man does may not match what is typically thought of as a 'monied position'. The old thinking was that only Doctors and Lawyers were the ones with money (this doesn't include Athletes, since they are few and far between, and we're talking about men you might actually come in contact with on any given day..!). Enterpreneurs, Contractors, Teachers (yes, some teachers are really, really good money managers, and are able to amass all sorts of wealth!), People in Construction and Real Estate, and let's not forget Computers! Almost any line of work can lead a person down the Road to Wealth -- it's all about Money Management, not necessarily how much you make in any given year.

Keep an open mind when you meet a new person to see what they're really all about. You'll ensure a better future for yourself if you hook up with a man who has a solid understanding of Wealth Management. A guy with a really high salary who spends like a fiend (and NOT on Real Estate! ha,ha!) in order to APPEAR Wealthy will be more difficult to get ahead with than someone who earns less but manages his money well.

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4. Hang out at Boat Shows -- those guys are typically loaded. They have to be to buy a boat and then actually take it out on the water. If you're lucky enough to live near water, hang about (not leeringly...) at the Docks. Who knows who you might run into...? Hey, Building and Home Shows are great, too -- maybe you'll get some great ideas while you're there, too!

Don't forget to pop into shops where the wealthy go -- the Home Improvement Stores, Stationary Supply Stores, the Jean Stores (yes, contrary to popular opinion, many wealthy men wear jeans!) and, of course, the grocery and liquor stores!

I'm not sure why Bars got such a bad rap -- especially Dance Bars and Cool Pubs. They're fun to hang out at with your friends, and perhaps you'll meet someone nice. Keep in mind that 'the wealthy' generally didn't start out that way -- you might find a diamond in the rough!

Sports Games are great, too (small plug -- I'd like to see every Sports Team out there with their own Logo on a Buff so when you went to games there'd be a whole SEA of Buffs for each side -- if you know someone interested in that, for Goodness Sake have them contact me! Pweeeease!) Back to the games -- want a manly man? Check out the local Rugby matches... Love Hockey or Basketball? Try to catch the NHL and MBA (whooops! Slight trip of the tongue, there! Although those MBA guys are great, too...) ... Should be NBA Games, then go meet the Players -- there's usually a cool Bar in or nearby the Arena where you could 'mingle'! No gushing, though -- play it calm and collected -- they'll appreciate the lack of craziness! All the people you will meet in this scenario will be interesting, so keep your mind open and make some new friends.

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Just one little tidbit about going out with a group of girls -- watch out for the 'group syndrome', where some poor soul comes over to ask you to dance and there's a quick and seldom subtle 'group decision' about 'whether he should be permitted a dance or not'... ugh. Everybody hates this -- it's not High School anymore ... always make your own decision about who you like and be kind whenever you can. It's very hard for a man to approach a woman in a group (all the more reason not to always travel in packs!), so if you're not offended by the guy, one little dance is the polite thing to do. Unless it's a slow song, and he's been leering at you all night, in which case a simple 'No Thanks. Maybe a Fast dance later on...' ought to work. Strike up some conversations and have some fun!

5. Learn how to cook. No kidding. Check out my favorite recipes on the Tips & Recipes Page, and try your hand at one of the recipes. I haven't met a man, yet, who doesn't love Cheesecake, so give that one a shot! Hey, you'll have a lovely treat for you and your girlfriends while you seek out that guy! You don't need to cook everything, it's just very useful to have a couple of signature dishes that you can make that will be fun to make for your new guy!

6. Have (and go to...) parties with other single people. Make them pre-timed in the afternoon, if it's too weird to have one in the evening. Say, from 2:00pm - 4:00pm on a Sunday. Have each friend you invite bring another single person. Be sure to include your 'couple friends', too -- they are great sources for single folk! At the very least, you might make a new friend or business acquaintance. Sunday works, since you're more likely to get into a restaurant if you like someone enough to continue the conversation over dinner.

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7. Speaking of Dinner Out -- this is a very good sign of what kind of man you're dealing with -- a fellow who makes it clear in advance of the meal that it's his treat is a good guy. Not in a weird way, though -- if he goes on and on that he's going to pay, and it's a huuuge deal, forget it. This guy's crazy with his money, and you don't want to date a guy like this, let alone marry him!) If he wants to share the tab on the first date, watch out. Don't worry about that old thing where everything should be equal or you won't be on equal footing. If you like him, you can offer to pick up the tab on the next meal... Just the offer of reciprocation is very indicative of your willingness to be equal partners, and that's what he's looking for.

Now, of course, if you ask him out, you should also be prepared to foot the bill. Don't feel like you have to hit the best restaurant in town -- you could have a nice picnic in the Park, or have him over to your place for dinner (if you've already had a few dates and you're comfortable with this).

I actually had a 'blind date' years ago where the fellow brought a Grocery List and a Recipe for me to make dinner for him -- can you believe that?? And to think he's still single -- who'da thunk that?! I couldn't believe it, so I suggested just going out for Chinese, and guess who paid the bill -- me! I couldn't get rid of him fast enough... (just so you know, this guy was no poor soul -- I was poorer than dirt at the time, but he was an Architect and Professor... see how important knowing how they deal with money is? Being with a man whose wallet squeaks and dust puffs out when he finally opens it is a nightmare to be married to -- he'll control his own and your money for the entire marriage.) And you always thought it was just a little meal!

8. Be yourself -- no need to put on any airs. That's no fun and you want someone who will love you, not some made-up version of yourself. You know you're lots of fun to be around -- let him see that, too!

9. Be confident. Know that you are worthy of being with him -- and make sure he is worthy of being with you. Money isn't everything -- sometimes it comes with a great big jerk at the end of the leash! (Ha, ha! I'm amusing myself, now, with that dog analogy!) Be extra careful not to get too swept up in the cars and houses (although, I've been known to be swayed by a gorgeous home in the past...and currently, too! And a really gorgeous pool could still turn my head! ha,ha!). It's the guy you have to live with, so might as well pretend that the other stuff isn't in the picture and see if you still like him. (Although, truth be told, there's many a man who would be all alone if it weren't for their many attractive 'assets'! ha!)

10. Well, ladies, go out there and find the man of your dreams! Hey, find two or three! You might need a back-up, just in case! Good Luck!

N.B. The reason I think you might like a wealthy guy as opposed to an actual millionaire (not that there's anything wrong with millionaires, they're just a little on the rare side...!) is that he will probably have more in common with you -- youth, optimism, hair (little Dr. Phil joke for you, there!), and sometimes a greater propensity towards sharing. I'm sure you're all familiar with the old line, "It's not what you have, it's what you do with it..." Well, I'm not so sure it really applies to anything but money (ha,ha!) -- you don't have to have a huge income to have a really happy and content life, but you do need to know how to manage your money in order to create and maintain wealth. If you find yourself with a guy who has no clue what to do with his stuff, God Knows he won't know what to do with yours either, so move onwards and upwards, baby -- there are lots of 'right ones' out there for you -- might as well get back in the game, now, and find one!

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Hey, have an 'Old Love' from High School or College you want to reconnect with, or at least see if you can contact? I've been a Gold Member of Classmates for about 3 years, I think -- time flies when you're on the computer! Lots of fun to see names and faces of all sorts of folks you might have thought you'd lost contact with, forever... and you can meet new friends in all the 'clubs', too. Find your graduating class and reconnect with old friends. Over 60 million friends are already on classmates.com -- you can be the next one! <Reconnect with old high school friends and college roommates today!>

Hey, maybe you'll meet someone great at a Concert -- and you know how I feel about Sporting Events! ha,ha,ha!

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Thought this was a good place to dispel that stupid old idea that 'There's someONE for everyone...'. I can't stand that crazy notion -- I think it only serves to keep people with someone who is absolutely not right for them, given that the phrase indicates there will only be ONE for you. Nonsense! There are Billions of people in the world -- there are lots of choices for every one of us, so you should never fear that you won't find someone else -- of course you will. You just need to keep your head up and your heart open and WHAMMO, your next 'someone special' will come along! YaaHooo!

Also, my Mother always used to say, "The Devil you Know's better than the Devil you Don't". It's a Scottish saying, and another one that drove me up the wall -- My response was always the same, and it continues to be -- "I'd rather live alone than with any Devil!". And that's true. Just another old saying meant to create enough fear in women to make them stay in a difficult relationship.

Well, I think I'm on a bit of a rant, now, so I might as well tackle a more controversial subject -- the Marriage Vows. Really, who came up with 'For Better or Worse'?? How much Worse, you should ask. There's many a Batterer who has used this phrase against his wife... When Dwight and I got married, and the Minister said "For Richer or Poorer", I couldn't repeat the phrase... I don't want or need to be with someone else (see the emphasis on the else?? That's a little reference to my horrible first marriage...) who would impoverish me. No thank you. I'm a well educated, fully employable woman, and any guy who would happily drag me down some crazy spiral of poverty with him has to go. Kick him to the curb, so-to-speak! I'd be better off to be on my own. I've raised a child on my own before, and I can do it again, if need be. So that's what I was thinking during the Marriage Vows...and so I said,"For Richer or Richer", and Dwight laughed, so I knew that part was fine!

And the 'Obey' thing -- puh-leeease, don't even get me started! I hope to God no-one is saying that part anymore!

The thing is to go into Marriage with a firm grip on the reality of it -- it's a lot of work to put up with another person (and all their crazy relatives! Remember that the old adage that you're not just marrying your spouse, you're marrying the entire family -- man, ain't that the truth! Some time we'll get into the whole In-Law thing -- that's such a touchy subject for so many people. I've had two very difficult Mothers-in-Law, and that's enough for me. They can make your life a complete misery or they can be as wonderful as a second mother... always good to make sure the family unit is not tooooo insane before you get married! (Of course, then there'd only be a handful of marriages every decade, and the Wedding Industry would be livid, 'cause doesn't everybody come with some craziness attached..., so just find someone who can actually separate themselves from their Ma and Pa, and give it a shot!)

Might as well clear something else up, in case you've made the connection with me and the Ben Johnson thing. When I met Ben, I was living in some sort of cloud, I think, and I had absolutely no idea of how one would go about earning a living without going to work every day. I totally didn't get that. So when I met him and he seemed to be at home a lot, and travelled a lot, too, so I thought, "Oh, no. He's broke. What's he living on?? The house (very big, just for the record!) is paid for, the Ferrari is paid for (or was it a Lambougini?? I can never remember the difference!), his other two luxury cars were paid for -- what on earth is he living on??" And he seemed to be supporting some family members, too.

I felt that I could help him to get back on track (ha,ha,ha! He's an Olympic Runner, for those who might have forgotten!). I think I felt a certain kindred with Ben because we were both being thoroughly screwed over by the system, and for much longer than any actual criminal ever would be... I've got plenty to say about that! Anyway, I had written two Spec. Scripts for The Simpsons at that time, so I asked him if I could put him in a script. He said yes, and about a month later we started seeing each other. (Best physique I have ever seen, by the way -- truly stunning! I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that! ha,ha,ha!)

Now here's an odd thing -- he always seemed to be sooo concerned that people (namely, women) would take advantage of him for his money. Maybe that's why he didn't give me a Christmas or Birthday gift, which is NOT okay, since that's just the kind thing to do. And he's the one who didn't give me a Ring (Rings are VERY important to me -- no ring, no fun! That sort of thing! ha,ha,ha! And YES, I DO have a LOT of Rings! Funny that you would ask me that?! ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!). It's not the value of the Ring -- it's the sign of a true commitment, otherwise, how do I really know your intentions, hmmmmm?? So when I met Dwight out here in Calgary (Ben lived in Ontario, Canada), and he asked me out for dinner, I glanced down at my hand and thought, "Hmmmf...no ring...", and so I agreed to have dinner with Dwight, and the rest is history.

So you can see that I'm a little bit of an oxy-moron unto myself! I absolutely advocate marrying (or being with in a stable relationship) a Wealthy Man, but in the true sense of the word 'wealth'. It's not just determined by money, nor is it determined by the amount of money -- just how you use it, accumulate it and most importantly, how you manage it.

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I got this great book for Cara (my 17 year old Daughter!), technically, at Christmas, but I think I enjoyed it more than she did ... maybe that's the difference between 17 and 42 -- I'm the 42 year old! ha,ha,ha! This is a great, easy read, and you'll recognize yourself in quite a few of the stories, so it's a good 'peak at your past' if you're already done with your 'Dating Days', and a whole lot of great Advice for those still in the Dating Trenches...! And just for the Record, there's many a 'Girl' who desperately wanted to get out of the Trenches and get married who is now thinking those Dating Days weren't so bad, afterall...oh, that grass is always so much greener on the opposite side, ain't it??

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I've just added a wee ad for the Company where I get my Business Cards -- it's great to have your own Card that you can hand out to people you meet of interest to you -- no more crazy fumbling for a wee bit of paper to jot your e-mail address or phone number on!

Hey, if you have a great Dating Idea or Story, send it to me maybe we'll put it on the site! Contact Ailsa at buildyourownhouse@hotmail.com

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I thought you might like to see what Trevor and Steve look like -- they're both still Single! Hurry and drop me a line before they're scooped up!

This is Trevor. Not only is he a great Carpenter, he is a really nice guy. He loves Hockey, and he's 27. In case you're into Astrology, his Birthday is Feb. 13th -- lucky 13! ha,ha!

Now here's Steve! He loves to play pool (and a terrible joke presents itself, but I'll let you think of it all by yourself! ha,ha!), build stuff, and Perform at Comedy Clubs and he's only 23! (Get 'em early/ train 'em fast!) Steve's Birthday is April 1st -- and that ain't no joke!

Aidan, our 4 year-old, is very fond of Trevor and Steve. They're both very sweet with Aidan, and that's a really good sign!

If you'd like to get a 'hook up' with Trevor or Steve, drop me a line at buildyourownhouse@hotmail.com !

Or Contact Me if you are Single and would like to post a message on our site, maybe we could create our own little 'Singles Site'!

Click Here for My New 'Hook Me Up' Page!!

***********************

Here are some really good Dating Sites -- one thing I think is great about a lot of the Dating Sites, now, is that you can meet all sorts of people, and the more people you meet, the more likely you are to eventually find the Mate of Your Dreams... I know quite a few couples who met on-line, and they have since married and are very happy together. Maybe having the opportunity to 'chat first' slows the relationship down a wee bit and lets you get to know the person as a friend, first -- that almost always works out better, anyway... happy 'hunting'! ha,ha,ha! Write and let me know when you find someone you really like!

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